Valerie: Doing things as a family and also making time for date night. We really try to make time for each other each night after the kids have gone to bed – whether it’s 30 min or a few hours it really makes a difference.
Lena: I am really bad with it. I still owe my husband a romantic dinner for his birthday (almost 4 months ago). WOW – I should really not be saying anything about paying attention to marriage
Kathleen: I’m still working on this. Even when the kids are all asleep, my husband and I do different things so it’s hard to find something to do TOGETHER. My suggestion would be the little things, a kiss, a hand squeeze, a shoulder rub as you walk by even. Showing you care in little ways will add up.
Mary: I have a husband? So that’s who that guy is! Just kidding… It is crazy hard to find a balance and it does not help that we co-sleep. One day baby girl will be in her own bed! Until then, we are creative in finding “alone time” but we fail at date nights and I feel the strain. I think we both realize that this time is temporary and our needs can come second – for now. That said, holy crap do we need a weekend alone! A friend of mine, who’s kids are a few years older, will just go into their room for “mommy and daddy time.” As open as I am about some things I don’t think I will ever be that open. Its bad enough my son caught us one night, I don’t think we could afford the therapy on us actually doing it while they are fully conscious.
Emily: My husband is ALWAYS wanting to have date nights, my problems is that I ALWAYS want to be the one to tuck The Boy in at night. I’ve started to let go of that and we’ve been having at least one date night a month. A few weeks ago, we went away overnight and my mom stayed with The Boy. It was awesome to let go of being a mom and connect with my husband. We go to lunch together during the week while The Boy is at school, not as romantic as a dinner, but still a wonderful time together. We even have a date night planned for this Tuesday – Dave Matthews Band!
Ghada: Hmmm…by the crickets in the discussion, I suspect we are all having trouble keeping that balance. To be honest, with 2 kids under 5 paying attention to our marriage is sometimes as simple as having a chat over tea after dinner. Though we are aiming to do date night starting in July at least twice a month.
Mary: Ghada I was thinking the same thing and feel relived that it is not just me, ladies.
WOW – I think we are in need of suggestions. Help?
Thank You for sharing, Valerie of Valerie’s Reviews, Lena of Way2Goodlife, Kathleen of Callista’s Ramblings, Mary of iNeed a Playdate, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Ghada of Mama goes BAM
I am the Mother of 4. Here’s what we did, it worked for us, it may not work for you.
IMO, Children need to see that the Mommy/Daddy relationship is highly valued and that “Grown-up” time is special, needed and should be honored. Our children did not come in our bedroom unless they knocked, they did not sleep in our bed (the few times that they couldn’t deal with sleep issues, we would lay with them for a bit), they did not use our bathroom. We had a regular baby sitter who came to the house and we went out, even to a free place like a book store for a few hours a week. It’s very important for a MAN to know that you put him #1. It’s important for the children to see it too IMO. They need to realize that the world DOESN”T revolve around their needs (totally anyway). If you are not spending REAL time with your spouse, START.
I don’t have any children (yet)- I’m still searching for Mr. Right. However, I do know my parents often struggled with this, and I was an only child. My father worked full time, and Momma had to focus on constantly budgeting to keep our household going, since she was disabled and could not work. However, they always made sure to set aside certain child free dates every month which could, under no circumstance, be broken. Barring someone being on their deathbed, Mom and Dad knew that they relationship was just as important to my happiness and well being, and they tried to make it a priority!
I am in the same boat. Two children under 3, husband who works long hours, no family around to take them off our hands for a day so we can get a breather. we are feeling neglected. I just pray it gets better when they are a little older
My husband and I have been married for 38 years, and every night is date night for us.
We are the parents of 10 grown children. When are kids were small it was just about impossible to have alone time. Our parents would come stay with them, overnight, every 4 or 5 years, so that we could have a night away. Once our oldest became old enough to babysit, we started having routine date nights (which usually consisted of fast food and grocery shopping:-) We finally became empty nesters last summer, and treasure our alone time. Life is good!
My husband and I try to spend as much alone time as possible, after all, it is important, but we are not ones to just up and leave the kids for a week. I don’t see how people do that. To each their own, but my kids need security, too. We have date nights and nights away for our anniversary or whatnot. It’s hard, for sure, but you gotta find that balance!