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Have you seen “Friends with Kids”? In the beginning a group of friends is sitting at the fancy restaurant criticizing a family for bringing noisy kids with and disturbing the harmony of the establishment. How have your perceptions of others changed since becoming a mother? Are you less judgmental of other mothers and their children’s dirty faces or temper tantrums in a store?
Cyndy: I am COMPLETELY less judgmental and much more understanding. It is a whole lot harder to judge others once you are literally walking a mile in their shoes. I have felt the looks of others on the rare occasions my daughter has had a meltdown in a store or refuses to listen and I don’t feel the need to inflict those looks on another mother. Often if I find myself at the grocery store alone and there is a mother with children behind me in line, I will let them go in front of me – especially if it seems like their child is about to run out of good behavior. We have all been there!
Emily: I find myself more tolerant of how strangers interact with their children than I am with how my friends and family members interact with theirs. That is likely because we tend to think that people who are “like us” will behave “like us” and strangers will be…well, strange!
Gena: I am less judgmental of other parents, for sure. I try to give a smile or an understanding word to a parent with a child having a temper tantrum in the store. However, I think I’ve become less tolerant of parents who belittle and curse at their kids in public. Parenting is hard, but there’s no need for that. It makes me sad because those kids are just like my own.
Darcy: I’m definitely less judgmental now. So many of my views have changed. Now if they are ignoring inappropriate behavior and just letting them run amuck in the store I don’t think that’s too cool, but when you see that familiar look on their eyes (tired, overwhelmed, stressed, and embarrassed) as they try to restore peace.
Lena: Totally. I had no understanding of things I have now. I went from “What is his mother thinking? The child is s-c-r-e-a-m-i-n-g” to “Yep. This is my child. Stop staring at me. She is just throwing a tantrum. What do you expect from 2 year old?..”
Ghada: I always cringe and hope I wasn’t judgmental in my singledom days – especially when I see a mother who looks like she is trying her hardest but her kiddlet just won’t cooperate. Like Gena said, I try to give a sympathetic smile to a mother who looks like she is just about at breaking point. We’ve all been there and I hope that little smile will keep her from cracking
Thank You for your valuable input Cyndy of Mama Does It All, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Gena of Life With Captain, Darcy of Tales From the Nursery, and Lena of Way2Goodlife, and Ghada of Mama goes BAM.
Expecting mom? New mom? Know one?
Check out tips, tricks, and other great articles on Advice for a New Mom page
Great Post! I actually don’t have kids yet but I don’t think i’m as judemental as a lot of other people (let’s see what I say though once I actually have kids LOL). Interesting post 🙂
I didn’t have a chance to give my input for this one. Although I was familiar with how kids are before being a mom since I work with them, my perceptions still did change as I realized that parents can only control so much of what their kids do.
what a great topic of conversation! I am refraining from giving my two cents because I have had too much to drink to not sound bitchy 🙂
I’m a little more tolerant but my biggest issue is when parents threaten their children (not physically but we’re leaving if you don’t stop or something to that effect), the behavior doesn’t change and they do nothing about it. What does that tell the child? There have been many times we’ve walked into a grocery store only to turn around and leave because my daughter is throwing a fit over which which cart she wants to ride in.
Oh my goodness! I can so relate so these! Judging is by far my #1 pet peeve with raising children.
I remember as a young teenager being so impatient when I went into a store or saw a situation where a child was misbehaving. Boy does having 3 very different tempered children alter your perception! Another factor is I now work at my children’s school. I have the added knowledge of children with hidden disorders and issues. Now I am more likely to try to offer words of encouragement or a smile to mom because often I have been there and done that.